i'm ready for normal... whatever that is

the second time around is every bit as beautiful and fulfilling as the first. the only difference is i knew i could expect that. i had no idea with the first one just how magical bringing life into this world would be. i was overwhelmed by it, and caught off guard at how much i instantly felt for a stranger. my stranger, nonetheless. but this time i knew all that was coming, and i allowed myself to just take it in. and i have. every moment i've had with him so far, i've just breathed him in and tried to tell him soul to soul how happy i am that he's here. it's incredible. even surreal in many ways the first little while. it's awesome. even still, it's a big change.

we've been home from the hospital for a couple of days now, and we're all still kind of trying to find our place. my body is still majorly out of whack - i'd even gotten used to the "normalcy" of being pregnant. beth is slowly learning how to live with a baby in our house (i'm not sure she gets that it's permanent just yet) and our day to day routine just isn't there. everything is a little bit different now. i feel different, and even though my life has been enriched with the addition of our son to our family, it's still a change, and now we are working to find our new rhythm. and it's that part that's the hard part. the transition to the new normal.

i think it wouldn't intimidate me so much (is that even the right word?) if i felt physically good and strong. but i just don't yet. those first couple of days were especially hard and my hormones are kind of going nutso on me. but i'm getting there and each day i feel better and better. but the mental part of it is so much easier when you feel physically ready. so yes, i'm ready for my body to feel normal too.

things will fall in to place soon, i know. the normal we knew before with just beth is gone now, and we're headed to a new place, a new routine, a new normal. a new us. as i was with beth, i am soaking up the newness of hyde and the little miracle that he is. a new life on the earth. a new life in mine. it's amazing to think of where he just came from and i feel so blessed to have a spirit so close to heaven now in my home. but i'm also so excited to watch him grow, see who he'll become, and discover his new found place in our family. i'm excited to find our new normal now that he's a part of it. i'm ready to be there, to fall into it, to feel comfortable there and to love it... whatever that normal will be.


a few favorites from home:

the little man arrives

tuesday morning, 9 am, i'm just getting ready to leave the house to head in to work for a couple hours before going to the hospital at 11, and the phone rings. it's hank.

"hello?"

"answer your phone much?"

"i just finished getting ready... why, what's up?"

"the doctor's been trying to call you - they want to bump us up 30 minutes. he's coming at 12:30 today. we need to be there earlier."

what the...? my already racing, anxious, sleep-deprived mind just started moving even faster. not that 30 minutes is a big deal, and really i was grateful since i hadn't been able to eat anything since midnight and was starving. but it had been a whirlwind of a couple days trying to get things done and ready at work and at home and the culmination of having 30 minutes less time to do those things panicked me a little bit. it also gave me an adrenaline rush at the same time - i was going to get to meet my boy even sooner and i couldn't wait. i grabbed all my things, ran out the door, and let the butterflies take their place in my scrunched stomach. he was coming today!!!!

indeed he did.

at 1:02pm on january 10th, hyde douglas van orden came into the world weighing in at 7lbs, 15 oz. probably the only baby in my whole family to weigh less than 8 pounds! he's as beautiful as ever, healthy, and i think definitely going to be a banner baby. he seems calm and mellow - the docs even commented on his mild temperament during the snipping of his poor little man-parts - and i have loved holding him close to me and just taking him in. i can't think of anything much better than a fresh new babe, just arrived to the earth, all perfect and clean and untainted by the world. man, it's amazing. especially when it's yours. somehow or another that seems to make it exponentially better.

at any rate, here are a few pictures of the hyde-man's first few days of life.




and today we get to go home.

now a family of four.

catch up

so this is going to be a pretty photo-heavy post. just too much to tell you all about and not enough time. so here are some snapshots, a quick look at christmas and some of the other goings on during the last few weeks that kept us busy....



beth was super into it this year, which made it so much fun



the 'rents and mitch came up on christmas day for some christmas dinner, and to exchange a few more gifts. we also got our christmas vacation on - hilarity. pure hilarity.

"eddie?!" "i hope you didn't do this all on our account clark" "eddie?!" surprised?" "if my head was sewn to the carpet i wouldn't be any more surprised than i am right now" oh man, good stuff right there. even beth was into it.



let's see if you can guess from the photos below who was into it the most....



the week after christmas beth and i went down to grandma and grandpa's house and hank went to freeze fest: where a bunch of crazies drive to no where in southern utah and canyoneer through some amazing canyons in the dead of winter. the water in the bottom of those canyons is often frozen and you have to break it in order to swim (yes, swim) through to keep going. hence the FREEZE in freeze fest. he had a good time. it actually looked pretty dang amazing. love that southern utah landscape.





beth got to play in the bubbles at grandma's. she LOVES to play in the water and bubbles. LOVES it.



we made a gingerbread house...



i know, it's amazing...


i got bigger:



nice work on the photo, courtesy of our very own hank van orden


we went and saw the lights at the botanical gardens:



(love that bottom photo)



some of us were lazy:




but all in all it's been an amazing end to a really good year. though it was busy, i was constantly grateful for all that we have. we really have a lot and are so blessed. i'm so excited to see what 2012 will bring to us....

next post: THE arrival (only 2 days away!!!)