the n-word

"beth, come here please, it's time to get dressed..."

"no"

"beth can you give daddy a kiss?"

"no"

"beth can you put that away please?"

"no"

"um, excuse me?"

sigh.

a long and heavy sigh.

because cute as she might be, we have now entered with her into an entirely new world. the world of discipline. and i don't even know where to begin.

where is it that you start with a one year old? time out... counting to three... slap on the hand... a stern talking to? so far we've tried all of those and none of them have really seemed to have much impact. just more crying when she doesn't get what she wants.

if this is parenthood, i'm out.

okay, not really. but it's just been so good up to this point. she's been so good and fun. but now she's learning right from wrong (sort of...), and how to talk back. at such a young age!

i know all you mothers out there are raising your eyebrows and nodding, smiling knowingly, and maybe even chuckling a little bit at my "woes", knowing how much deeper and harder it gets, while i sit here and pine away at just hearing her say "no" right to my face.

but that's just it. i may not understand exactly what lies ahead, but let me assure that i'm fully aware that there's more. and maybe that's what bothers me so much. the angel/perfect phase is gone and we've worked our way into the harder stuff. there is no going back now. the cute baby stuff is over and done. gone forever. and i know that. it only gets harder from here.

it's fun to see her develop a personality and become independent and watch her figure out how to do things on her own. and she is so sweet 85% of the time. i'm just worried that number will get less and less as she learns how to use that word (and others) more and more. and do i have any control of it? can i help shape her personality or is it something that's just so innate that i let go and say, okay, you are who you are and i love you...

maybe a little bit of both.

and you know what? i think i'm okay with that. i mean, i am in this for the long haul. i knew this was going to happen. in fact, i really looked forward to it! and i still do. but i admit that cute-baby-phase went much faster than i expected it to. and now i am wishing i could hold on to it forever! but alas, bigger and better things ahead, right? and so we enter into this new world...

oh man. here goes nothing.