my time away

i spent the last few days in florida on a work trip. and while i have to say it was pretty incredible and definitely a luxury trip, i missed my kids and man more than ever and couldn't wait to get home. seriously, the trip was incredible. super motivating - the level at which the people i was surrounded by think and operate on a daily basis is so far beyond me, it was crazy. i just soaked it up and left wanting to reach higher and work toward being... THAT. it was so cool to be there. and it may have helped that i stayed at a beach front property. :) but by friday i was really, really anxious and excited to come home and find my three loves. truly, there is nothing better than coming home to them.




beth both won my heart and lost it tonight with two things...

won:

beth: mom, guess what?

me: what?

beth: (with enthusiastic smile) i love you!

me: you love me?

beth: yeah, i love you!

(and my insides turn to mush...)


lost:

me: beth, can you please take your shoes off and go upstairs to get ready for a bath?

beth: no, mom. i don't want to take my shoes off.

me: beth, take your shoes off please. it's time to go up and take a bath.

beth: no mom. i don't want to talk to you anymore

me: you what? you don't want to talk to me???

beth: yeah. i don't want to talk to you mom.

me: (with giant sigh) you're two beth. you're not allowed to tell me that yet.

(and... i want to cry.)

other than that little episode, it was still a stellar day. we rode our bikes, played outside, got some housework done, went swimming at the lake, and met up with some friends for dinner. today as we drove along the lake's edge with the windows down, beth and i both with our hands out the window feeling the air rush by, i couldn't help but think how happy i was and what a beautiful life i lead.

florida? awesome.       home? untouchable.

summer solstice

oh how i love the summer solstice.... the first official day of summer and the longest day of sunshine of the year. today was nice and cool, unlike the near 100 degree days we've had lately, and after work we spent the evening on a very relaxing leisure bike ride. we finally got a bike trailer for the kids, so we are making use of our awesome craigs list deal.

here are a few pics from beth's first birthday party (2 months ago. yes, i'm that far behind...):

beth and the birthday girl, caroline.











she loved this rocking horse and didn't really want to share with anyone.












and lastly, a couple of hyde and his funny self:








he also attended the party and was clearly entertained... good times had by all.

and now, it's time for bed. it's late.



good night stars. good night air. good night noises everywhere.

4x12

the four of us on our last day in breckenridge, and definitely the nicest too. it was windy most of the time we were there, often bringing on a chill that required a good jacket, but the last day was sunny and warm and gorgeous. i took tons and tons of pictures while in breck... i will try to share some of them here.

beth has mastered two new sayings lately, both of which i find hilarious. she has started saying "sure" to everything, and in perfect context, she knows that it means yes. and somehow the way she says it sounds so incredibly sophisticated - not like the lazies who slur it along with a shrrrr, but she puts emphasis on the "u" in the word and says it so nonchalantly, making her sound so grown up. or like she went to some smooth teach-you-how-to-be-a-lady school or something.

"beth, will you put your shoes on please?"

"sure"

"beth, do you want to take a bath tonight?"

"sure"

"beth will you please eat five more bites before i totally lose it and throw your dinner across the room?"

"sure!"

it cracks me up.

the other phrase is a bit longer. we were driving in the car one day and she suddenly spoke up over our rockin' music with "mom, i'm thinking about it"

"you're what?  you're thinking about it???"

"yeah!"

"ok.... what are you thinking about?"

(long pause)

"i'm thinking about it"

"okay beth. rock on to thinking about it. i'm thinking about it too"


and now she tells me that all the time. where do these kids get this stuff?

i keep reminding hank he has to watch what he says these days....

superman

feels like i went on sabbatical for a while there! it's been a bit nuts around here! with mostly good things. i could write a huge long post about each one, but after reviewing my recent record... probably not a good idea. so here's a quick recap:
- hank is starting a new business called trunk drivers (you can check it out and find him on facebook - i'm sure he would appreciate if you liked him on there too) which is keeping him busy in the evenings. it is set to launch next weekend. yeah trunk drivers!
- took beth to her first birthday party which she really liked, but i still think it was more fun for me than her
- i flew to memphis for a really awesome big national job interview/presentation which i didn't get, but hey, at least i was one of the final three to be considered
- took a promotion within my management company instead which i'm very excited about
- got back from intense memphis trip and left the next day for breckenridge where we met hanks family and spent 4 1/2 perfect days with them
- kids have been horribly sick over the last 10 days, adding to the chaos and broken routine
- still trying to finish editing a photo shoot from forever ago
AND
- i am still unsuccessfully trying to get a solid workout routine in place

i can honestly say that i miss blogging, though, when i don't do it often. i seem to be lacking on the personal time to do that kind of stuff lately, and while that's okay, i still miss going through the pictures and picking which ones i'll put up, and getting a few stories and often random thoughts out there that i just want to say. it's therapeutic for me if i'm honest. and kind of a bummer that it gets put on the back burner at times. but you gotta do what you gotta do. right mamas of the world???

although i have found instagram to be a really good and quick alternative to blogging for sharing pictures and fun things. i would almost call myself an addict. almost...

for tonight, a picture of hyde and his dad playing - appropriately - superman.

keeping up, or the lack thereof...

i am struggling to keep up lately. can you tell??? it's only been like 4 months since my last post... sheesh. home from work at 6:00, #2 fed by 6:20, dinner on the table for the rest of us by 7:00 if i'm lucky and IF i cook, #1 in bed by 8:00 which is often 8:30, feed #2 again, clean up dinner, get #2 ready for bed, sit for maybe 30 minutes, feed #2 one last time, and then it's time for bed. for all of us. and by then i'm wrecked. i don't remember it feeling quite so rushed with beth when i first went back to work, but i'm sure it was. mostly i struggle with dinner and getting something on the table that's both fast and healthy. it's hard and takes planning, and THAT i'm not always good at. i know it will get easier as they both get more self-sufficient, but right now it's just kind of hard. i don't feel like i have enough time in the day to accomplish what i need to accomplish to be a good wife and mother. hank is usually a good help and very patient with me - i adore him for that - anyone else would likely complain or kick me to the curb, but he's very understanding and gentle with me. i appreciate that about him. he is my saving grace.

work is kind of nuts right now, in a good way. i'm working on some big things there, some big changes, some good changes that will hopefully take place soon and be better for me and my family. but right now, it feels a bit chaotic and doesn't necessarily bring huge amounts of peace into my life. but it will get there. i know it will. more on that to come...


some pictures from our backyard on a beautiful day in april....



there is something about his expression in this picture that i LOVE.... even with the drool (which is constant)



and yes, we still cannot live without.... bunny.




also, to my dear friend trish.... i'm still working on your pictures!!! i'm sorry it's taken so long. :( i promise to get them to you soon....



ps: i'm also on instagram for those of you that are on it. (i just made the huge conversion to iphone this last week!) you can find me @lindsayvanorden

kite festival

last weekend i took a million pictures of beth playing outside. the light was beautiful, and so was she. i just couldn't stop snapping. i'm not sure if it was the light, or the way her hair fell around her face that day, or the fact that i hadn't seen her all week because i'd been out of town, but there was something about her that was just stunning to me that day and i couldn't help but try to capture it and just freeze it in time. it was weird because there were also moments as i was doing this where it felt like i was looking at beth as a 17 year old. anyone else ever have that happen? you ever look at your little kids and somehow see pieces of what they'll be in 15 years? maybe i'm crazy. anyway, i haven't had time to get all of them together yet, but i also can't wait to share! so here are a couple from the day... i'll share more as i finish working on them.