time flies, and i am full

tonight i put beth down in her crib for the night and then closed the door like i usually do, but this time i stayed in her room to watch her fall asleep. staying just far enough away to remain out of sight, i watched her little hands pick up the soft white bunny and hold it in the air and play with its floppy ear. she would put it down and roll over to play with the toys that attach to the crib bars for a minute or two and then roll back over to that bunny. we've always wondered what she does in there to put herself to sleep...

as i stood there listening and watching as though a fly on the wall overflowing with joy and love, i also realized i never posted her 6 month pictures. i say that as though they were professionally taken or something. no, they weren't. just a few that i captured near that 6 month date (over a month ago...) that will probably replace the ones on the wall that were taken just after this little rascal came into our lives.

oh, how our lives have changed. oh, how much better and more meaningful they seem to be. who knew such explosive happiness could be brought on by such a tiny little humanoid. it's amazing how overwhelming parenthood can be. wanting to protect them, but also push them to grow, experience things and learn, understanding a whole new kind of love, praying that you'll know how to teach them to desire righteousness, melting at every smile, every laugh and giggle, faking that you know what you're doing, but loving that they don't know that you don't, pride oozing from every pore when others gush and fawn over them.... it's hard to be humble about your own children, i've learned. and i understand it now.

"yes, she does have a smile that will instantly swell your soul, doesn't she"

"yes, she does have absolutely the greatest laugh on the planet, doesn't she?"

"yes, we did miraculously end up with the most stunning baby ever to live, didn't we?"

things every parent must think of their own. and rightfully so. rights of a parent i think, and a reflection of a love so concentrated and deep that i think can only be understood when you've had one of your own. a humbling glimpse of what we know our heavenly father feels for us. how overwhelming and awesome all at once. and everyone was right - it has just gotten better and better with each month, each day, each minute. i can't wait for what's to come. but for now, my favorites from her six month mark.

thank you for coming into our lives, little love. you bring such joy to me and your daddy. we can hardly wait to watch you grow. but not too fast okay? we love you so much. sweet dreams li'l babes.