do you ever go through periods in our life - even just days at a time - where you just feel.... off. not yourself... like, you're going through all the day to day motions and everything around you is normal, but somehow it feels different. and not because your life is different, but just because something about you is different. ....off.
that's me.
for like, the last month.
it's weird. i feel like i've been walking on clouds for a long time now. but like i told hank the other day, i just don't feel like i'm my best me right now. and it's hard, because there's nothing to really pinpoint what it is that's making me feel that way. maybe it's the added work responsibility and the change that comes with it. maybe it's the fact that i'm heavier than i've ever been (without child) and i just don't feel healthy. (i'm not obese or anything people, just not healthy and strong like i should be. and it's really bothering me). maybe it's that i don't sleep super well which changes (read: lowers) my patience level. maybe it's that i feel behind on a lot of things. i don't know. i feel like those are all normal things i would normally be able to handle pretty well. but right now, in these moments, it's just throwing me off and i'm struggling to fix it. i just don't have that lighthearted laugh and outlook on life that i feel like is me and i miss that.
sigh...
am i alone here? does anyone else go through these things?
i know it will go away and that i'll find a way to snap out of it (which i honestly believe 90% of which will come by getting myself feeling good and healthy and find that good energy again). i just gotta work through it. my kids are great and the man is great. my life is great! it's just me. i want to be great too.
okay, enough whining. (right???)
i think i'll go kickbox the crap out of something.
1 comment:
look out kids! mom is coming to kickbox something and i hope it's not you!!!
linds. am i always the one to write the "welcome to the rest of your life" comments? seriously. from now on, you will always look back at having one child (whether it's your own life or observing a friend in that situation) as piece of cake coast along life. with every child you add, and every day they get older your life gets more difficult. and everything you described is part of that. less time to work out, less time to take good care of yourself (in order to feel good), less sleep, less patience, more stress, more to do, less energy. . . i wish i could tell you that things were all going to get easier soon, but this is everything that every mother (mostly of more than one!) experiences and struggles with probably constantly. there's nothing wrong. it's just learning to find sanity and balance and peace and maybe even patience in the midst of all of it. because this is it!!!
hang on sista-- you're doing awesome. wish i could see you!
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