i came home from work today just stressed out. it seems like there's a lot going on right now and the fifteen minute drive home was just not enough time for me to decompress before getting home and needing to deal with tired kids and dinner and bedtime while being the best mom to my kids - and best wife to the man - that i should be. i hate when i'm like that. but i just didn't have the mental or emotional capacity to do it today.
there are a lot of loose ends to be tied up at work before i leave for a while, and suddenly so much to do at home (i think they call that nesting) that i need these 8 days to get ready, and at the same time i am so anxious for this baby to come i can barely stand it. my feet are huge and i've lost my ankles (it's really sexy), sleeping gets harder and harder by the day and consequently my strings - if you will - are getting shorter and shorter.
the irony is that other than not sleeping really well and feeling like i'm housing a giant reservoir in the bottom half of my body, i actually feel really good. i have energy during most of the day and feel fairly capable of getting around and doing what i need to do without major restraint. i'm pretty lucky that way. but occasionally there are just days where those two negatives catch up to me - mainly the first one - and i struggle to get through the day the way i want to. thank goodness for hank who agreed to put beth down tonight and let me go to the store for an hour which allowed me to chill out a little bit, clear my mind, take a deep breath and let some of the stress go. i feel much better now than i did two hours ago.
sometimes we just need a little time.
on a lighter note, here's a great conversation hank had with beth while we ate lunch together the other day. it went something like this:
hank: beth, is the baby in mommy's tummy a boy or a girl?
beth: that's my sister daddy.
hank: are you sure it's a sister?
beth: yeah daddy, it's my sister. (consistent with every other time he has asked her for the last 3 months)
hank: do you know her? do you remember her from before?
beth: yeah...
hank: well how many sisters do you have?
beth: two!
hank: two?! you have two sisters?
beth: (nodding) yeah, and there's a sister in mommy's tummy.
hank: well how many sisters does hyde have?
(remember he's asking a green 3 year old here...)
beth: three sisters! hyde has three sisters.
hank: (looking at me with both shock, fear, and refusal on his face while i just smile and laugh) beth, if you have two sisters hyde and i are both in trouble.
i can't wait to see if she's right...
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