Monday, January 24, 2011

i am the winner

let me tell you why i am going to win
mother of the year.
there are several reasons really.
i will share just some of them with you.

to start us off, you should know that
i let her eat cords and other electric things.
like, all the time.
because i have given up hope that she will ever stop.

you should also know i let my 10 month old daughter
drive the car. just to and from daycare is all...
and seriously?
she loves it. she absolutely loves it.

taking us down the home stretch..... opening the garage door.... and we're home.

she totally knows what she's doing.

and here is the best reason of all:

a little while ago i was letting beth play
on the kitchen floor while i was doing some cooking.
she was playing with some large utensils and plastic bowls
as i was chopping up some spices, garlic, and things of the sort.

next thing i know, she starts whining.

"what is it babe? what's the problem..."

within 30 seconds she is really starting to cry.

"what is wrong with you? did you hurt yourself? are you bleeding?" no blood.

and now she is in a full on scream.

"beth, seriously. what's the matter?"

and then it starts coming out...
of her nose.
gobs and gobs of white mucus, running out of her nose like crazy. she is rubbing her eyes, gagging, screaming
and hank and i are totally clueless.
and then it hits me.

"oh my gosh, she totally ate some raw garlic! it must have fallen on the floor while i was cutting it up."

poor little girl didn't know what hit her.
by now hank is holding her over the bathroom sink
in case she decides she wants to barf it up,
i am making a bottle
with the hope it will somehow overpower that
raw little chunk of garlic sitting in her stomach (yeah, right),
and the girl looks like she would rather die
than deal with all the stuff coming out her nose
and eyes and who knows where else.

i can't decide whether to laugh or panic -
my innate altruism tells me to laugh
while the new mom in me says to call the nurse line.
with only minimal success with the bottle,
we decide to wait it out.
it's just garlic... eventually it has to work its
way out of her system, right?

well, thankfully it did. about an hour and half later. poor girl.

yep friends, mother of the year. right here.

1 comment:

o charm said...

oh linds. . . we're all mothers of the year.
first of all, garlic is really really good for you!
second of all, andreas just chewed through alex's computer cord.
third of all, i remember one time in new york we were hauling across the street when we got to the curb and i ran right into it and avi (who wasn't buckled very well) pitched right out onto her head and my first reaction was to laugh my head off, as onlookers stood looking on horrified. oops. . .
the list goes on and on. so at least you're in good company!