your sympathy please

back to my comment about regretting terribly the fact

that i had waited to post? indeed, i have some bad news.

one day while working on my computer i decided to edit the last couple pictures of my latest photo session - my dear friends, the larsons. i went to pull up their folder, but alas...

it was missing.

"that doesn't make any sense... i just had it up a couple hours ago."

no, literally, a couple hours ago. i tried again. nada.

then i realized, not only was i missing that folder, but my entire Pictures folder.

did you hear me friends? my ENTIRE pictures folder.

i searched and searched my computer - had i inadvertently moved it somewhere else? had i accidentally deleted it? nope, not in the recycle bin. the whole thing was gone. just up and disappeared. and i am talking thousands of photos. it was the craziest thing on the planet. the whole folder, gone. right off the drive. my external drive, i'll add. aren't those supposed to be crash proof? i'm kicking myself over and over. it's like gouging my eyes out with toothpicks. it's brutal.

so many wonderful pictures of beth, of hank and i, of trips and holidays, of our wonderful day to day life, of sessions i am using to build a portfolio, of... lots of things. gone. and i am kicking myself for not at least posting some of them 1) to have shared them with you - i had lots to share, i just got lazy, and 2) to be able to go back and save the ones posted so that i at least had those. and now, i am starting from scratch.

i am hoping by some miracle they can be salvaged - i'm still looking into it, but for now, i ask for your sympathy. please don't rub in how stupid it was that i didn't post any of them sooner. it would just be salt in the wound. instead, your regrets would be appreciated so i am not wallowing alone. i am so bummed out.

starting from scratch, and with promise (though i know i've done this before) to post more often.

rats. that's all i can say.

rats.

in honor of daddy

i can't believe i haven't posted in a month... much longer than i meant to go before posting (and regretting it terribly - more on that later). time is flying by. it's crazy. it's making me feel old.

but i wanted to post today for two reasons. 1)because it's my second favorite day of the year and that makes me happy (the first day of summer and longest day of daylight), and 2)to celebrate all the dads on father's day.

especially the new ones.

us? we took it easy like a sunday morning. that's what hank wanted to do, so we did. took naps and hung out in the back yard, where i managed to catch a few priceless shots. baby loves her daddy!

to the best dad ever, we love you.

now outnumbered by women, you hardly get your way anymore and we want you to know that we know how hard that probably is for you and how much we appreciate it. you are really a good sport. there should be two father's days for dad just like you because you put up with so much.

but we think you're great. you're the coolest, funnest, raddest, (hottest), playfullest, tickliest dad out there and we couldn't ask for more. thank you for being the best dad on the planet - we love you for it.

happy father's day big daddy.

a perfect afternoon

it really was.

hank was off work, it was 75 degrees (fianlly...), there was hardly anyone at the park, and we just chilled all afternoon.

some highlights:

and the picture of the day:

deep breath

okay. here goes.

i'm publicly posting "a session."

i'm trying to get into doing paid photography and asked some friends if i could take pictures of their kids and luckily they accepted. so here is a slide show i put together of our time together. i've already gotten two referrals from them which rules, except i'm really nervous. i feel like i still have a really long way to go in learning and perfecting. a long way. it makes me nervous to charge people for it. but i guess the best way to get better is to keep doing it, right?

anyway, you'll have to pause the music on my playlist (to the right), but then you can watch the slideshow i made for them. tell me what you think! and be honest... i can take it. for reals.

the best day and the worst day

man, time flies and i can't believe i haven't posted this yet. i can't believe i haven't posted a lot of things, but especially this. somehow i find my days filled up and i haven't had the chance to sit down and spend time here like i would like. seems like there's always something else to do.

anyways....

last weekend we pumped up the volume a little bit and had a million people here to meet beth and see her/participate in her blessing. it was awesome. SUCH a great time, SUCH a great weekend (other than not having 70 degree weather for our scheduled bar-b-que at the park) and SUCH a cool experience.

and i have determined that yep, this is what life's all about. right here kids.

the fam.

and starting my own fam.

yes, i believe i was made for this. (i guess we all are, in a way).

so to share, some great pics from blessing day. the best day she's been here so far.

(that, and the day she smiled at me when i went to get her from her crib.

and don't argue with me that it was gas. i don't want to hear it.

she smiled at me, because of me. don't ruin it for me ok?)

big daddy and his little girl

a cool shot of the cutest neice ever, holding her new best friend. :)

my awesome bros and sis (minus my sister jen, whom of course we dearly missed... i guess living in russia is a good enough excuse not to come.)

and a cool four generation pic that i'm really glad we got, but need to do again - nice one mom. but we only got one, so this is the one that's getting posted. at least we all live close which will make getting the next one easier.

and my favorite of the day. i love, love, love our blossoming tree out front. perfect background for such a great day. nevermind that hank managed to change before this one got taken... that's not important.

and that sums up that.

the worst day came just two days later.

SHOTS DAY.

it was horrible. i made hank come and stand by her while they did it. but i still peeked. her face and cry was the worst EVER! i had given her tylenol an hour beforehand and i think it helped with her nap shortly after. but she was super sensitive the rest of the day. she didn't like to be moved or not held the whole rest of the day. (and thank you to the brocks for their patience during our lovely dinner that night). i took pictures of the band-aids on her legs but for some reason my retarded computer can't read the files even though they are the same as every other picture i take with that camera. (ok, ANNOYING...)

so they may show themselves later. but i'm not sure how i feel about this whole it's-going-to-hurt-worse-than-anything-on-the-planet-but-it's-for-your-own-good thing. now, i realize that i just need to toughen up a bit and get over it, but it was still sad ok? no one likes to hear their child scream as they look up at you and say with their sad little eyes, why are you letting them do this to me mom?

you feel like the worst parent ever.

but then the next day they're mostly over it, and it's all okay. but for that one day, let's be honest, it sucks. i really don't want to do it all over again in two months. and two more months after that. and four more after that. my mom says it gets easier each time she goes in.

i really hope she's right.



ps: as a follow up? yes, she is still sleeping through the night. and it's heaven (said with a high-pitched singing voice) sorry jen. maybe try my tricks...?

jinx

i'm dooming myself by posting this i'm sure...

but i think we just might have it figured out. after sleeping through the night 4 out of 5 times this week,

i believe we may have found the secret:

a couple extra feedings, and the key: arm placement. please note below.

who knew?

after following this simple procedure,

we are sleeping peacefully all night long - 7 or 8 hours at a time.

we are a whole new family.

it's wonderful. :)

knock on wood

the man

today we celebrated the man of the house.

complete with his favorite breakfast, stellar presents, an REI shopping spree (thanks Mary), and the most delicious cake on the planet, he declared this the best birthday ever.

he says that every year.

but this time i think he really meant it.

the only thing that sucks about his birthday is that i can never make fun of him for being old. no mean cards, no old man jokes...

because i am older than he is.

not by much, just 14 months, but he is sure to remind me of that often enough.

anyway...

happy birthday big daddy. you're a wonderful husband

and an awesome dad.

you da' man.

over.and.out